Kitty's Dream of April 27

To make up for the previous night's almost total lack of William Shatner, last night's dream was all Trek, all the time.

I was in The Wrath of Khan, although the plot had nothing to do with Khan or the wrath thereof. I came onboard Kirk's Enterprise, along with Picard and Riker. Kirk was really glad to see me and immediately stopped paying attention to all the other women who were hot for him, including Lori Ciani (back from the dead, apparently). She was pissed off, as was an Anonymous Yeoman who had dyed her hair blond in attempt to attract Kirk. They came to Kirk's quarters (which resembled a very classy college dorm room, if you can imagine such a thing) but Kirk came in and threw them out before we could really get into it. Then he seduced me. I was playing hard-to-get. This is how we know it was a dream.

1000th Years from Now

This is just barely a Shatner dream but here goes.

Someone had figured out how to stop the aging process so people live to 1000 years or older. (Unfortunately, the process didn't work on people who were already older than about 60 so they still kicked around 80 or so.) So Lene and I were 1000 years old and had become a lesbian couple with a bunch of kids. Two 2000-year-old women from the future showed up and told us a bunch of stuff I don't remember. Lene and I were still doing our podcast, "Look At His Butt," and as a surprise for our brazillionth show, I was going to reveal to Lene that WILLIAM SHATNER was the only person older than 60 who was still alive!!! (Because, after all, he's Bill. And he was still working. So he can't die.)

Kitty's Dream on the Eve of Earth Day

Not that Earth Day has anything to do with it.

I was watching the new Star Trek movie with all my Trek friends. I was simultaneously in the movie some of the time. Lots of weird, non-Trek (more like bad fantasy) stuff went on with constant peril! There was a strange sequence in which most of the Trek characters were in Santa suits. Kirk, Spock and one other were up on a platform. There was a kiddie pool below it and the kiddies were catapulted up onto one of the Santa's laps. My friends and I got in the pool. (Francine, I'm sure you were catapulted to Spock's lap and he wasn't in the rest of the the dream so you can take it from there.) Then there was more peril involving a play rehearsal, a kitchen that needed to be cleaned up and costumes. Somehow the movie ended but it was a false ending, a fact that only William Shatner and I were aware of. Everyone else left the theatre. Bill and I continued to the real ending. All the people from the false ending turned out to be some kind of avatars and they were SHREDDED! Bill and I stepped through the shreds and ended up in a place where the people controlling the avatars were torturing people. Suddenly, there was an announcement (in the movie!) about a "surprise appearance by a pregnant Suzanne Brandt!" I was shocked--SHOCKED!!! She was put in a bathtub and "tortured" with a bunch of those little ISB diskkeys. We rescued her and then the movie really ended. I was sort of sucked out of the movie and into the theatre. Then the theatre starting rushing by (giving me this weird sensation kind of like when you get up too fast and your head spins). The lobby went by and then finally I was outside, slowed down and stopped. I had 2 thoughts: "The best thing about that movie was this weird head-rush special effect at the end" and "I'm suing those bastards!!!!" Wildcat kept trying to reassure me that it was wonderful that Brandt is so well-known in fandom that she can appear in a movie without explanation. I still wanted to sue the bastards.

The memory of the strange rush has stayed with me all day.

Happy Earth Day.