Kitty's dream of St. Paddy's Day

This was a very long, very involved dream that included losing my virginity to Cary Grant on a bus but I'll spare you all the non-celebrity stuff.

I was channel-surfing and became interested in a movie about post-WW II England. Bill was playing the son of a rich Canadian family who had flown for the RAF. He stayed in England after the war. He became involved with the labor movement. The final scene was a huge cheering crowd surrounding a boxing ring. Bill was alone in the ring, making a big speech, shirtless and wearing a kilt. The camera panned up and out. The end.

I desperately wanted to see the title of the movie but as usual in dreams, I couldn't make it out.

Also in this dream, Lene and I realized that if we wrote a phony academic book about fanfic, we could include our stories in it as examples. We got a Texas high school to buy into the idea.

Kitty's Dream of March 14, 2009

I was the guest on William Shatner's Raw Nerve. Bill asked me why I hate Alice in Wonderland so much. I explained that I've never been able to stand the chaos, the lack of coherence and order. He asked me how I felt about Catch-22. I said I was fine with that because it was consistent within is own world and actually made sense in the end. We had quite a literary discussion.

Kitty's dream of March 3, 2009

Make sense of this, if you can.

I was taking a piano lesson with my college piano professor when he and another professor threw their coats over my head and hustled me out of the building. I said, "Oh no! Not another SAI kidnapping!" (SAI was the music sorority I was in in college and they don't do kidnappings.) They asked me, "How old are you?" and I wasn't sure if they meant how old am I now or how old was I in college. Eventually they took me a house where I was the person being surprised on a show kind of like "This Is Your Life" but it had to do with how charming you are. (FYI, I am not charming at all.) It was hosted by Shirley MacLaine. My college roommates were there (who know exactly how uncharming I am). Apparently they had nominated me and were prompting me to share my "charming" memories with Shirley. A wedding party came through that featured an elderly topless bride who just wanted to say hello and in the hubbub, I saw William Shatner outside and realized he was my surprise guest. After things settled down, the room got dark and Shirley said, "Is everyone ready to go on?" and by the Bill was in the room and he said, "I'm ready." No mistaking that voice! I went over to where he was sitting in this cushy chair with his feet up on an ottoman. He had on gym socks. I started rubbing his feet and telling him I have a thing for feet. He got embarrassed! Yes, Bill! Then Jason Alexander got in the chair with him. I said, "I'll stop rubbing your feet if you'll get Costanza out of there." Exit JA, entrez moi.

Kitty's Valentine's Day Dream

I was using an intensive hair conditioner, the kind you leave on for several minutes. It was in a single-use packet. After I'd ripped it open and applied the conditioner, the packet started talking. I looked at it and it had a picture of William Shatner on it (the tummy roll photo from Star Trek). He was talking to me! Then Gene Roddenberry (who apparently was on the back but I didn't flip it over - who wants to see a picture of GR?) started talking. They got into an argument. The conditioner got all over the place.

Long Time No Dream - Kitty, Jan 16, 2009

But what a doozy!

Lene and I were at Shatner Weekend. We were all sitting on the floor at Bill's house going through our stuff. A little bit away, I saw Iddy and Francine. Iddy had a picture of young Bill, stark naked (full frontal) except for a pair of black thigh-high boots. Naturally, I went to talk to her about it.

I think I blacked out.

Then they were showing a movie I'd already seen so I went to the kitchen so do some work. I was sitting at the kitchen table with my laptop when I heard all this noise. I went to the stairs and Bill was sitting near the bottom talking to all the Shatner Weekend fans. I went down the stairs as quietly as I could but when I got near him, he looked up and said "Well, hello" as if he knew me. (He looked about 20 years younger than he does now.) I instantly thought "Of course he remembers me" so I kissed him. It turned into a very long, deep, tongue-included kiss.

This dream was worth waiting for.

Kitty's Dream of November 27, 2008

They were filming the last episode of Boston Legal and I was playing a secretary. I had been playing this role since the first episode but I don't think I ever had any lines. I sat outside Denny's office next to a woman I used to work with. Michael Scott (from "The Office") worked there too but he was getting laid off. He showed me these folders, one for each employee, listing special tasks. Mine had something to do with Vista. HA! Not me.

I ended up having sex with Alan Shore up against the wall in his office. Denny came in and pushed him away so he could finish me off.

Francine's Dream of 11/24/2008

I dreamt I bought a house across from the Nimoy’s in the hills but didn’t know we were neighbors until Bill hopped out of his Mercedes convertible and rang the bell at their gate. I was working under my 1970 Volvo 1800-E—one of those little sports coupes—but slid out when he drove up. He’d done something to his engine and it rumbled loud enough to rattle the loose chrome on my car.

I stood, wiped my hands on a rag and watched him. He had his TMP hair but his Search for Spock body and he wore brown cords with no belt and a black tee shirt that was loose at the waist but stretched across his chest.

He was also wearing Tevas, but what’re you going to do?

He glanced back at me then did a double-take. I could see his eyes beneath his lashes travel over my bare arms and legs. The Beach Boys sang “Help me, Rhonda” on his radio. He grinned. I nodded at his Mercedes. He said something I couldn’t hear. He reached in his car and turned off the ignition.

Leonard came down his driveway and opened the gate. This was Leonard circa 1967, still slender but getting soft from not having to do night work, starting to drink too much and unhappy with his life. His Spock haircut had grown down to his eyebrows and his hair was full and parted in the breeze without all the pomade. It was a warm evening but he wore a dark v-neck sweater, black slacks and square-toed shoes. I could see the woman who is his wife now watching from a window, drinking a glass of wine. She squinted at Bill, then at me and turned away.

I leaned a hip against my car. Leonard lit a cigarette. Bill plucked it from his lips and took a drag. He handed it back and they both started across the street. I laughed and motioned toward the engine block hanging from a hoist over my Volvo. Leonard and I steadied the block while Bill cranked the winch. He kept up a steady stream of chatter filled with really bad puns and chuckled at his own jokes while he checked out my ass. Leonard studied me quietly.

We bolted in the engine block, moving around the car, brushing against each other, fronts to backs, backs to fronts. Bill pressed against me briefly, gently, letting me feel his erection. Leonard breathed warmly on the back of my neck and softly stroked a thumb across my nipple reaching around me for a wrench. I could smell Old Spice and Right Guard and Prell, engine grease and the tobacco from the pack of cigarettes in Leonard’s pocket. They circled me, switching places. My dogs started barking in the house. Bill slid his hands up my ribs and squeezed my breasts. Leonard lifted my chin with a knuckle and kissed me deeply and for a long time.

Then my dogs woke me up barking at a catfight in the street. Miserable mutts.