A. and I were living in L.A. and I ran into one of my old acting buddies at a pet hospital that was as bigger and shiny as a people hospital. Patrick Stewart was our houseguest (turns out he's gay, did you know?) and he and A. became good friends. At one point, they went ice skating together. Anyway, at something that was either a fancy party or a convention (and I was wearing an incredibly sexy beige lace thing that made me look naked), Bill was there! He and I were flirting our heads off but there were other people in the way. Later his assistant came up to me to give me Bill's phone number. Turns out celebrities get special *8-digit* phone numbers! Then A. and I went home and he was really mad that I was flirting with Bill. (This is so un-A.) Patrick Stewart came in during this with a brown toupee on - looked awful. Also in the middle of this, Bill called to set up a date that minute. I told him I couldn't leave. Then A., Patrick and I were watching a movie about a woman (me) who was trying to hook up with William Shatner without letting him know that she's a drooling fangirl. I ended up working in the same office as one of his daughters (who was quite evil) and she was determined not to let this woman get to her father. She didn't know who it was but she had narrowed it down to 3 candidates - one of them me! Luckily I was working under an assumed name but she suspected me and started going through my purse.
Here's the best part: BILL CAME IN AND RESCUED ME!
Then the stupid alarm went off.