Frokitt's dream of Dec 22, 2007

I'm selling snow balls and popcorn in a booth at the county fair. The sun is setting but heat still rises from the midway asphalt and reflects off the booth's metal awning. The breeze blows grit through the sliding glass window. I lean on my elbows and inhale the scent of farm animals and fry bread and red dogs. People meander toward the stadium to watch the fireworks show that will start as the last light drains from the sky.

I see a very young William Shatner strolling towards me as the midway empties of people. My heart starts to pound and an itch suddenly stings me in the crease between the top of my thigh and the puff of my labia.

He is wearing a white strap undershirt and low-slung blue jeans. I hear the soft clump of his engineer boots on the asphalt. He grins at me then rolls his shoulders and pumps his arms like a boxer. The wind tosses the wave of russet hair that falls across his forehead. A fat man approaches my booth.

"She's closed, mister," says Bill, moving in front of the man.

"My son wants some popcorn," says the fat man. He is holding the hand of a fat boy.

"She's closed."

The fat man frowns. The fat boy's face crumples.

Bill reaches into the front pocket of his jeans and pulls out a flattened pack of cigarettes. He smiles and shakes one out. "Here. Have a smoke instead."

After a moment's hesitation, the fat man takes the cigarette. Bill lights it with a silver Zippo. The fat boy starts to sniffle. The fat man yanks him away. "Shut up. She's closed," he says.

Bill flips a cigarette and catches it between his lips. He lights it with a flick of his Zippo, watching me the whole time. He blows out smoke from the corner of his mouth. There is chaff in his hair and black dirt under his nails. He jumps up and grips the metal awning with his fingertips. He pulls up twice then hangs there, gazing at me from the shadows of his eyelashes. The itch at the top of my thigh has become unbearable.

"Que quieres, Guillermo?" I ask softly.

He drops from the awning and dusts off his hands on the seat of his pants. He takes the cigarette from his mouth and cups it in his fingers. He leans close. He eyes travel over my face.

"Give me a blue snow ball, little girl," he says.

"I'm not a little girl," I say.

I retrieve a box of paper cones from the shelf above me because I know the action of lifting my arms will pull my cotton shirt tight across my breasts. I take my time making his treat. I spill a little of the electric blue syrup.

"Oops," I say, licking syrup from my finger. I take a bite before handing him the snow ball. I wait for his reaction.

He strokes his tongue across grooves my teeth made in the ice. "A little girl," he says. "That's what you are." He walks backwards away from my booth. A huge orange moon rises behind him.

"A little chocolate girl," he says.

JK's Dream of Dec 22, 2007

Captain Kirk and I were aboard Battlestar Galactica. The enemy (probably not Cylons but some other sort of enemy) had taken over the bridge (yeah, I know BSG doesn't have a bridge but this is a DREAM, OK?) but Kirk had a plan. It involved the fact that he had been really working on his biceps. Wish I could remember how this all played out.

Other Shatner dreams on the web

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JK's dream of November 29, 2007

I was playing Kirk's blond love interest in a new Trek movie. When we were on our way to confront the villain, someone made a joke and we all laughed, even Spock. But Kirk didn't laugh. I said, "C'mon, Bill, it was funny."

The villain sent a beautiful dancing girl to distract us and Kirk was getting a huge erection so he called down to the kitchen (?) and ordered, "Soup! Hot and stupid!"

The end.

LT's dream of Dec 13, 2007

I was planning JK's wedding; she was getting married to her current husband. We decided that William Shatner should give her away at the wedding, so we contacted his "people" and begged them to get him to do it - told them about the podcast and everything. Then it was the day of the wedding and we still weren't sure he was going to show up. I was waiting at a bus stop for the bus to take me to the church and this huge limo pulled up, the door swung open, and there was Bill (dressed up like Denny Crane - very sharp)! He was happy and laughing and said "Of course I'll do it."

I wasn't sure if I could ride to the church in the limo with him, but he invited me in - there were other people in the back that I didn't know. We all rode together and Bill was funny and charming the whole way, and seemed to think this was a hoot. We got to the church and there was JK and her husband - she was wearing a beautiful white dress and was so giggly and happy that Bill was giving her away!

I woke up before the reception.

JK's dream of December 12, 2007

I was rehearsing a play and when we broke for the night, we all went to a bar and my friend W. was there. (Along with her boyfriend! She's married in RL so I'm wondering if there's something I don't know...) She & I ordered sliders. Then my drag-queen buddy D. took us to this strange amusement park where you went through all these houses. She wanted to skip the first few and go straight to the one she wanted us to see but they wouldn't let her do that and threw us out. When we got back to the bar, W's boyfriend had eaten our sliders! We told him to order more and pay for them himself. (Apparently he's freeloading off her - I'm not sure this relationship is wise.)

Then she and I were on a bus with no seats so we sat on the floor against the wall. Sitting across from us was WILLIAM SHATNER (who appears in almost all my dreams lately and never eats my sliders - God that sounds filthy - IF ONLY!). The guy next to him asked him to read some lines so he did. One of them was something about "all the women" and man o man, did Bill caress those words! W. and I sighed very loudly and then giggled. Bill laughed too. He loved us.

JK's dream of Nov 4, 2007

OMG, this one was long and complicated and I'm already forgetting parts.

You and I drove to L.A. You needed to buy some special paper for a project. We ended up in a very sleazy neighborhood where there was a store you wanted to go to. There was a creepy guy outside asking about this special paper and you wanted to talk to him but I said, "No way, we have to drive 1000 miles to get home and watch Boston Legal." We ended up buying earrings and crap and then went to some house to watch BL. In this episode of BL, I had sex with Bill/Denny on a trip to Las Vegas. There were a whole bunch of middle-aged women there and a party at a nightclub/diner. I thought Denny was going to marry me but he secretly married one of the other women. Then she and another man were having sex in a tanning bed (ouch!). Denny was hiding and watching them. She murdered the guy by keeping him in the tanning bed too long.

There was also a recovering heroin addict played by Whoopi Goldberg (some of the time) and Bette Midler (the rest of the time). She was an artist who I moved in with with and then she got a showing at some gallery.

You and I ended up working in a shoestore.

JK's dream of Nov 15, 2007

A dream inside a movie wrapped in a rerun (which must have something to do with the writers' strike).

There was a Trek movie event (I think it may have been the new movie) and I was supposed to go with you and lot of other people. It was somewhere north of here, farther than El Cerrito. (!!) All these people kept showing up at the house I grew up in but I wasn't ready to go. I was frantically trying to find the address of the theatre and directions but my email kept crashing. Then we were all walking along a country road. Just as we stepped off the road, a plane sorta landed, sorta crashed. As we approached it, it burst into flames. Inside there were a bunch of soldiers just sitting like this was perfectly normal. Everyone I was with got in but I didn't because it gave me a creepy feeling. Then suddenly I was on the plane and I realized we were being kidnapped. The plane took off and turned into a bus - A SPACE BUS! It warped into space and I sat down. There was an old lady up front who kept saying "I think this is my stop." The driver was a big happy black woman. Turns out we weren't being kidnapped - this was a special bus (called the Zen Bus - I'm not kidding) that picked up people who couldn't get to the movie on their own and took them there. The movie was showing at a mall on another planet. We got there and because we were on the Zen bus, we got a backstage tour where the actors were preparing for a play. Not the Trek actors but one was a woman I'd worked with but neither of us could remember what show we'd done together.

Most of the rest of you went to find seats while I was talking to her so I (and a couple other stragglers) couldn't find you. It was a HUGE semi-circular theatre and we decided to get popcorn first and then look for the rest of you. The popcorn servings were ginormous. We finally found seats and when the movie started, they were showing --

Are you ready for this?

-- They were showing a Shatner dream I'd had earlier!!! I think this one was before we had the Dreams website but it was TWOK-era with Kirk looking fantastic. I can't remember the details now but I was thrilled that they'd made my dream into a movie.

JK's dream of Nov 16, 2007

I was an extra on Boston Legal but then they gave me some lines and I had a little romance with Denny Crane that included a very sweet kiss. There was another actress who looked a lot like me and she had a larger role on the show. Her character (which kept turning into me and then back into her) became friends with Denny over several episodes but then she turned bad. I can't remember what she did but her friendship with Denny was a sham.

Katheryne's dream of 10/10

I was sitting in an outdoor picnic pavilion with just about everyone I've ever met as well as a ton of my favorite celebrities. Next to me at the large round banquet table was Bruce Campbell, looking very young and very hot and smelling of some strong musk that had me wanting to pounce upon him, heedless of the danger posed to me by his formidable chin.

In any case, in the middle of our conversation, we notice William Shatner (also looking very young and very hot and reeking of mojo) walking by. As he passes, I notice that he had no clothes on. All I could see was this naked Kirk butt, walking past me and away across the room through the crowd of people. As I admire the scenery, Bruce comments on my staring, and I simply reply: "But it's *Shatner*. He *wants* you to stare." From what I can remember of the dream, even Mister Suave B Movie Actor could not argue with this.

JK's dream of Oct 31, 2007

I was in a Star Trek episode where they beamed down to a planet and were looking for aliens (or maybe the aliens were looking for them - can't really remember). There was a cave with 2 cars in it - a flashy sportscar and a VW bug. The aliens had used the VW bug. (Maybe it was a clown car?)

Then Leonard and I were fucking. Leonard, not Spock. He was very sexy and lots of fun. Bill was sooooo jealous! Leonard said, "This is Bill's most hated episode" and we snickered. We knew it was because Leonard got the girl (me!). Bill was sulking. So cute. I had fucked Scotty too (also Bill, of course!) and wondered if I was the only fangirl to have fucked all 3.

There was more but that's all I can remember.

JK's dream of Oct. 29

This was a very busy dream involving my family, kids being the wrong ages and dogs who could talk. But finally everyone settled down to watch "Boston Legal." In this episode, Alan, Denny and some other guy sang.

If you think Shatner's singing is bad, you should hear Spader.

JK's dream of Oct 28, 2007

Setting: The set of a new Trek series which is simultaneously the Enterprise for real

I was on the escalator-type thing with Rand. She was jealous and crying because I AM KIRK'S LOVER!!! I was paged to the bridge so I sent her to her quarters and went to Level 2. (There were several stops and other people, all reminiscent of a recurring dream I have about an elevator.) Anyway, Level 2 had this huge curving walkway that looked in on different sets where they were filming lots of Trek stuff. I'm pretty sure there was a Next Gen episode being filmed. Also something where Riker had a ship and his first officer was a Gorn. I briefly woke up giggling over the idea of a first officer making those "old man throat-clearing" noises. Back to sleep.

The captain's chair was a tall skinny chair - very modern, like a stool you'd find in an ultra-trendy bar. When Riker wanted to talk to the helmsman, the chair zipped over there like a Segway. There was a grid-pattern on the floor, I thought for the chairs but Riker didn't stick to it so I don't know what the hell it was for.

Finally got to the bridge where I was supposed to be and Sulu was in charge. It wasn't the TOS bridge but I was standing where the turbolift would be. There were stations on both sides, very close together. I looked to my left and there was Bill. He looked up and winked at me. That's when I knew he was just being an extra to help out. Later I thought it was a training exercise for Sulu.

Not sure what happened but eventually Captain Kirk and I left the bridge together.

Happy sigh.

Francine's dream - 10/14

I had this dream last week that I was married to Daniel Craig.

That's not the best part.

We were traveling somewhere in one of the fancy little private jets and who's on the plane with us?

Bill!

Next thing I know, Bill and I are playing poker with Kate Mulgrew and George Clooney and totally kicking their asses.

Me and Bill are all laughing and shit every time one of us wins and then we drive everybody crazy by trading our favorite quotes form the movie "Stripes".

I'm all like:

"Lee Harvey! You are a maaad man!"

"My name is Francis Soyer. But everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis...and I'll kill ya."

Then Bill jumps in:

"Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me...and I'll kill ya." (points to George Clooney)

It was great!

JK's dream of Oct 11, 2007

A. and I were living in L.A. and I ran into one of my old acting buddies at a pet hospital that was as bigger and shiny as a people hospital. Patrick Stewart was our houseguest (turns out he's gay, did you know?) and he and A. became good friends. At one point, they went ice skating together. Anyway, at something that was either a fancy party or a convention (and I was wearing an incredibly sexy beige lace thing that made me look naked), Bill was there! He and I were flirting our heads off but there were other people in the way. Later his assistant came up to me to give me Bill's phone number. Turns out celebrities get special *8-digit* phone numbers! Then A. and I went home and he was really mad that I was flirting with Bill. (This is so un-A.) Patrick Stewart came in during this with a brown toupee on - looked awful. Also in the middle of this, Bill called to set up a date that minute. I told him I couldn't leave. Then A., Patrick and I were watching a movie about a woman (me) who was trying to hook up with William Shatner without letting him know that she's a drooling fangirl. I ended up working in the same office as one of his daughters (who was quite evil) and she was determined not to let this woman get to her father. She didn't know who it was but she had narrowed it down to 3 candidates - one of them me! Luckily I was working under an assumed name but she suspected me and started going through my purse.

Here's the best part: BILL CAME IN AND RESCUED ME!

Then the stupid alarm went off.